Interview: Thomas Lojek and Pamela Des Barres – How to inspire men to their higher greatness
Pamela des Barres was a friend and companion of some of the best-known artists of our time: Jim Morrison, Frank Zappa, Mick Jagger, Keith Moon, Jimi Page. She was known as a rock muse, an icon of on the Sunset Strip and modern rock and pop culture from the late 60s well into the 70s.
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Pamela Des Barres © Milius
But Pamela des Barres was not only the pretty satellite for famous men, but persistently realized her own career as an independent artist: books, art, performance art, and as a member of the band GTO, which joined music, spoken words and performance arts in a kind of total work of art.
In the mid-80s her autobiography was released: “I’m With The Band” that became a bestseller and made her famous, both nationally and internationally.
In 1993, “Take Another Piece of My Heart” was published and later the books “Rock Bottom: Dark Moments in Music Babylon” and “Let’s Spend the Night Together: Backstage Secrets of Rock Muses and Supergroupies”.
Pamela des Barres now lives in Los Angeles and works as a writer and teacher of creative writing.
A kind of love that makes you feel like human gold
Thomas Lojek: You have met some of the most famous artists and rock stars in the world, you accompanied them and you even stood by some of them as their lover or partner: Mick Jagger, Frank Zappa, Jim Morrison, Jimmi Page, Keith Moon. What exactly is it about the magic these special men carry within?
What makes a woman deal so intensely with a man and his art, that makes a woman dedicate herself to walk beside him as his muse and lover? Is it the man himself? Is it the intoxicating effects of fame, money and lifestyle that emanates from these men? Or is it the basis of art itself that arouses the desire in a woman to become part of it by all means?
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Pamela Des Barres © Des Barres
Pamela Des Barres: It is always the Music that made me want to be with, assist, uplift, inspire, encourage, adore and worship these creative masters.
All art helps the observer/listener get in touch with their own creative brilliance, makes their hearts open wide to receive, therefore to find their own gifts to offer the world.
Not to mention the heady atmosphere surrounding these people, their ‘scene’, the almost untouchable quality that permeates their auras.
If you were in the middle of that third eye of the rock and roll storm, you felt like human gold.
How to love and inspire men for their higher greatness
Thomas Lojek: What is the difference between a groupie, who only provides a little change of pace for one night to an artist versus a true muse – a woman who can animate, accompany and inspire an artist? What is the exact difference between these two kinds of women from your point of view – regarding personality, their energy and especially their character and behavior?
Pamela Des Barres: All men (and women of course) but all men are what they do for a living. They need, crave respect for their work, no matter what kind of work it is. But especially the men who reveal who they are though their craft. Real groupies love what their favorite musicians do, how they make them feel inside, so it is natural to praise, to understand, to glorify and therefore inspire them to even higher greatness.
Love, inspiration and the hope of being ‘the only one’
Thomas Lojek: Is there a dark side within the life with and the love of these great and famous men? Of course, for those looking at it from a distance, those lives are bathed in glamour, parties and success – but certainly their lives have a price tag in terms of burden? What should a woman expect when she loves a special man and hopes for a life by his side?
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Pamela des Barres © Des Barres
Pamela Des Barres: A true groupie knows that it’s highly unlikely that they will actually become the only woman in that musician’s life. It can happen on occasion, but the real groupie must be willing to enjoy the moment, live smack dab in the moment they are in and not think about some sort of possibility or potential of ‘landing’ the musician.
I married a musician of course, and have lived with some, hoping to be ‘the only one.’ It doesn’t happen much in ‘normal relationships, but even less likely with a touring musician. Covet those moments, have them play for you, ask questions about the songs, the inspirations, their influences. Engage them, make them feel you understand their souls.
The secrets of how to be a muse in every man’s life!
Thomas Lojek: In my books I describe emotional patterns in the relationships between men and women that are not really that different from the interaction between an artist and his muse. After all, every man is longing in his own way for his own personal muse in life. Do you believe ‘being a muse’ is a universal principle that would apply to all women? What could women learn from your personal experiences with those extraordinary men? From your point of view, is there a way that any woman can be a muse, regardless whether the man is famous or just an ordinary, loving husband?
Pamela Des Barres: I fell I have answered this already. Yes, a man needs to be recognized for this talents, and the secret it to appreciate what a man does, as well as who he is, because it’s so intertwined. Appreciate, understand, uplift, encourage, advise, My last boyfriend, a musician, told me he thinks I should write a book based on my favorite Elvis song, “Treat Me Nice,” because I understood his creative musician’s soul and never ever tried to put myself before his music. The music is the man. Being a woman, I hope this doesn’t offend any female musicians. I love them too!
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Pamela Des Barres in the 70s: (c) Pamela Des Barres
Pamela Des Barres Homepage
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Homepage Thomas Lojek
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“More interviews with Thomas Lojek…” - Isabelle Allende, Jane Monheit, Alex Robinson and more… (English).
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